From TIME magazine:
Tuning into 'Sharknado 2: The Second One'? A new guide has some critical tips on staying safe from the wildest of creatures in your wildest of dreams (or tele-movies).
1. MEGA PYTHONS
Let it try to eat you. Lie on the ground perfectly still, with your feet toward the snake. Do not struggle as it begins swallowing you. Its backward-curving teeth will scrape you, but it probably won’t bite down. When you are in its mouth up to your chest, pull your knife out and stab it in the eyes. You may not kill it, but you will distract and blind it while you make your escape.